Lately I have been having a really hard time talking with family and friends about how I really feel. They are the ones who support me and I can’t even explain to them what is going on.
My invisible monster her names (depression).
She steals away what happiness I once had. Makes it hard to walk down the street and often end up sitting with me in the car while I wait for others to return. My monster is closer with me then my father, my mother, my sister or my lover. She has seen me at my worst. And manages to ruin me at my best. Simple tasks become not so easy. Finding the energy to do anything becomes harder then finding Peter Pan in Neverland. And what confidence I once had has disappeared into a dark abyss. She hangs around like a shadow and sometimes when I think she has gone I turn around to find her waiting. With the snap of her fingers she turns a smiling girl into a girl breaking down.
A lot of the time I find it so much easier not to tell anybody how I feel. This is only because a lot of people don’t understand the invisible monster inside my head. The world doesn’t need to know when she is in a full on war, or if she’s just pottering around polluting my files with sadness. Because at the end of the day, monsters, invisible or not.
Are fucking terrible.