Dreaming with my eyes open.

Whether I’m awake or asleep I’m always dreaming. My mind is pondering things that probably may not happen. Coming up with ideas that I will never have the confidence to do. At hats when I realise that I’m to stuck in my dreamworld to even notice what is really happening in my reality. 

whether it be ignoring someone non intentionally. Or having no ability to breathe because of panic attacks which end up sending me into tears which can not be controlled.

i need a magic pill that will make me less tired, because no amount of sleep will ever be enough to cure my tiredness. Where do I turn to find a pill so amazing.. If I follow Alice down that hole and find my wonderland? Or fly out the window with Peter Pan to find myself as a child where everything seemed possible and I had no fear, regrets and instead high self esteem and the will to find anything possible. 

 

when I dream, it’s not often with my eyes closed, instead with them open. Having control over a made up world is much easier then facing this big ugly world. 

My 3 friends I have, k, t and z. they mean the world to me. Through all my ups and downs they have been there to make me smile, whether it be a simple but loving note, a block of chocolate or a walk along the beach. The only people who can bring the reality back to me.

who make me question even just for a second, 

is the world really such a terrible place? 

 

My mood over the past couple of days has been changing. From I’m so angry I could kill someone to crying because I’m falling apart.

 

Trying to hold on to whatever hope I can find.

 

love always,

G

xx

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2 thoughts on “Dreaming with my eyes open.

  1. I nominated you for the Liebster Award, check out my post on my page:)

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