I was sitting at the table with the family tonight, and they’re asking me questions and all i can say is ‘i dont know’.
The final question i got asked before i left to go into my room was “where do you see yourself next year?”.
To which once again i replied ‘I dont know’, followed by “I hardly know what im going to be doing next week let alone tomorrow”.
Some days, i am hopeful about my future, i plan everything, sort out my life and make the decision to get my life better. 9/10, i end up in a ball not wanting to move or do anything because im stressed and depressed. Because, well fuck knows. Im a little messed up i dont know.
I hate depression more than anybody else could ever imagine. To be honest i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel, you talk about me growing up and blah blah, what if i dont want to grow up.
Right now, i just want to give up.