Breakdown.

Yesterday was not exactly the best day, i had a breakdown and it was horrible.

I rang my dad up in the middle of having a panic attack.

The reason is yesterday i heard someone yell out my name “GABBY!” 3 times.. When there was nobody home.. 

So after calming myself down which took a while i lay in bed just thinking.

Its horrible being all alone in your head. 

I have an amazing family who supports me fully but i cant even support myself so its hard, even coming to terms with the fact that i have depression and its not just going to go away.

My sleeping had been getting really bad again also. So i have been very tired.

Last night i tried 5-HTP, which is a natural drug which helps with sleep and mood. And i actually slept really good, i woke up twice, once because it felt like my back was breaking in half, turns out i was just falling off my bed.. hahah.

So i had to get up at 6am this morning because i should now not be left at home by myself. Anyway it was okay because i got to go on a boat that my dad looks after and we drove from gulf harbor to auckland, the sun was rising and it was amazing.

Its 9am now and im feeling tired already haha. 

I have to talk with marinoto on friday, which is not going to be that good..

Anyway, i actually better get some work done otherwise i will be screwed for exams in November… 

Catch ya later,

Love G

x

 

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